Long time no blog. Looooong long time definitely no blog. There are a few reasons why I've been almost completely dead in the blogging world recently but none more substantial than I just didn't feel inspired. I was having a rough time earlier in the summer and I just simply didn't feel like blogging. I don't even know what blogging is anymore or what I was actually really doing when I was posting. Was i posting for myself? For readers? For numbers? For brands? I don't even know. I'd be lying if i said that the numbers game hadn't got to me, and perfect model bodies on instagram hadn't got to me, and all the amazing bloggers killing it hadn't got to me. And it got to a point where i felt my actual happiness almost depending on me having a blog post up, and i sort of became wrapped up in this superficial cycle which then resonated with my relationships in real life.
I took a big step back this summer and really focused in on the person I wanted to be and how to make myself happy in a more pure form, by spending time on relationships with loved ones, looking after my body, staying up really late laughing with best friends, going on road trips and eventually I came to a place where i didn't need the social media satisfaction anymore, and it didn't matter if my new instagram photos didn't match my made up 'theme' and I learnt to be happy without it - which simply sounds stupid how I relied on social media so much.
During this time I also went through a style change and i just didn't fancy wearing the minimal black and white 'aesthetic' style anymore, I just felt I was trying to have this constant sophisticated look when actually I want to express other parts of my personality through my style choices and so I stopped dressing to impress and a felt a huge wave a complete freedom run through me. I never even planned to write a blog post today as I could've never imagined myself being able to really post again, but for some reason I was driving along in my car today and felt the sudden inspiration to write all of this down: not for any sort of social gratification, but because I felt like myself wanting a creative outlet today.
So I'm writing a post today out of complete freedom and from a much happier place. I want to blog about things I thoroughly enjoy, which still is style to an extent - but I have a lot more in the world that inspires me now once I decided to look up from my laptop screen and turn off my phone once in a while.
Its my 23rd birthday tomorrow and I'll have a special post going up for then!